Children of Desire

Merchandise - Children of Desire (2012)

Guys, I'm know I haven't been bringing the pain lately and I apologize, but I have to continue to bring you non-painful music for your needy earholes. I've been going over the ginormous text file that I keep all my 'good albums this year' in and I couldn't believe I haven't posted this gem yet. Merchandise are a very cool rock band that play songs that are both pleasing to the ear and interesting to the brain. I feel like most rock music struggles in that second category, but these guys do it well enough without seeming like a bunch of tryhards. The sound of the toms in 'In Nightmare Room' are enough for me to recommend this record. I'm sure it'll show up in a lot of year end lists outside the whole gross metal scene that I tend to linger in. Pay attention, nerd, something pretty important is happening here.

Here is the link.

His He She & She

Blawan - His He She & She (2012)

With this four song EP Blawan solidifies himself as the most punishing techno producer/DJ. This more recent offering is characteristically cold and dark with an added faint industrial aftertaste that doesn't overpower the palate. I've always loved the slightly sinister tinge this guy's output has had lurking in the background but I feel like he's completely embraced the darkness with this release as he moves from his bass oriented approach toward a more techno sound.

I don't really know what I'm talking about though, I'm just a weirdo that listens to Incantation worship bands.

Why they hide they bodies unda my garage?

Satan Worshipping Doom

Bongripper - Satan Worshipping Doom (2010)

Easily my favorite record of 2010 this has to be at least the third time I've posted this album here. But I still feel compelled to do so every so often, essentially whenever I'm confronted and awestruck by the sheer crushing force of this shit. From the straight-forward blunt force riffing of the initial track Hail to the shredding black metal influence that eventually gives way to even bleaker doom riffs of Satan. The positively monumental riffing of Worship to the dark and noisey finale in Doom. This shit is good and if it was a physical entity it would beat up your whole family and all your pets at the same time with a cudgel. This is probably the heaviest record of all time and if you expose your children to at a young enough age I can almost guarantee they will develop magickal talents and psychic abilities beyond your wildest fathomings. Embrace the riff lest it be your ruin.


Obsidian Codex

Vassafor - Obsidian Codex (2012)

Yet another source of evil radiating from the southern hemisphere. Vassafor recently unleashed this double LP Obsidian Codex, an oppressive blackened fog that hangs heavy. Dark melodies are shrouded in a deep and swarming din, distant voices shrieking and growling from the depths of the mix. This isn't just another murky blackened epic, though. Doomed influences reveal themselves fully in some of the longer passages, the longest of the ten tracks over twenty-three minutes. A couple of the more lengthy songs may test this zealot's dedication but for the most part these Kiwi weirdos do a pretty great job of keeping things interesting or at least hypnotic enough to keep me entranced.

Play it extremely loud. Easily year-end-list worthy, Very Cool.

New Zealand.

Ominous Doctrines of teh Perpetual Mystical Macrocosm

Inquisition - Ominous Doctrines of the Perpetual Mystical Macrocosm (2011)

I'm going to be blunt with you neckbeard poser weirdos. If Dagon's vocals "bother you" it's because you are a false. Straight up. You're a fucking false. Delete your collection of raw beastial cassette mp3's then delete your life.

This band's entire discography is solid obsidian bulletproof untouchable evil and this record is the most despicable jewel in a truly appalling crown. This most malevolent of headgear bears many a sinister gem (I really stand by the claim that just about everything they've done is pretty great) but this is truly the most malignant slab of ritualistic riffage this Seattle-by-way-of-Columbia outfit has released into the mystical macrocosm. I want to get this album artwork tattooed on my face.


Macabre Kingdom

Putrevore - Macabre Kingdom (2012)

When it comes to death metal, I like it dark, heavy, and evil. Or sweatpantsy. Either way works, really. These guys appeal to the former more than the latter and the more I listen to this record the more I like it. It won't scare your mom as much as Vasaeleth but it's definitely a keeper. Thumbs up, says death metal Caesar. Death metal Caesar loves everything that sounds like Incantation, though. He's so predictable.



Sleep - Dopesmoker (Remaster)

Proceeds the weedian.


Ignivomous - Contragenesis (2012)

This is one of those releases I was almost positive I posted when it came out. Absolutely relentless death from the southern hemisphere. Fast and sinister Incantation-esque riffing combined with a seemingly tireless rhythm section, vocals that are subdued enough to add to the evil atmosphere but aren't completely lost in the shred. Evil shit for people in the murkier side of death metal.

Listen on NWN Bandcamp.
Click here for the thing.

Serpentine Path

Serpentine Path - Serpentine Path (2012)

Serpentine Path are essentially a doomed super group with the dudes from Unearthly Trance and one of the dudes formerly of Electric Wizard. Edging toward the funeral side of the genre, this one might test the patience of those uninitiated. A disgusting aural mire that doesn't break any new ground but will threaten to pull you down all the same.

RIP Unearthly Trance.


Cryptopsy - Cryptopsy (2012)

I didn't even know this was happening. Not bad. Kinda slammy, kinda tech wanky with some serious business brutalizing riffs to be sure. Not my usual cup of tea but entertaining enough.

Slit Yr Guts.


Anhedonist - Netherwards (2012)

It's been awhile since I've brought a plague of doomed death upon you, so guess what fuckers? Today is the day. Anhedonist are from Seattle, WA and play a very oppressing and sinister brand of doomed death. Or deathed doom. I don't think it really matters which order you say them in. Though it's true for most music, maximum volume definitely produces maximum results with this record.

See those dudes on the cover getting slurped down in that horrifying abyssal nothingness? That's about to be you. YOU'RE ABOUT TO BE SLURPED DOWN INTO A HORRIFYING ABYSSAL NOTHINGNESS.


Rage Against The Machine

Rage Against The Machine - Rage Against The Machine (1992)

Because they're Paul Ryan's favorite band.
What the fuck.
HA ha ha!

Welp. See ya later.

Wild Beyond Belief

Satan's Satyrs - Wild Beyond Belief (2012)

All style and no substance. The shit-on-purpose production style holds this record back in my opinion. That and the fact that some of the songs are probably twice as long as they should be. All that said, a fun rockin' punked out death romp that's enjoyable at least one time through.


Chicago Blues

Muddy Waters - Chicago Blues (1994)

Remember when I said it was way too hot? Well guess what? It's fucking hotter now. I've got the it's hot as fuck and I want to eat dinner but don't want to cook it because having a box emitting 400 degree heat into my home sounds like some sort of torture. It's too hot to pass on any sort of information. You don't care anyway. You just use me for my links. But you see that face on that album cover? That is a man attuned with the riff. Pay attention.

Sweet Home Chicago.

The Vacant Lots

More about this later.

The Bootlicker

Melvins - The Bootlicker (1999)

Maybe you are a smarty pants and you already know all about The Bootlicker, part of Melvins weird trilogy thing they did. They did a lot of weird things. This album is Melvins playing some tantric Om type stuff. It's trippy mane.


Freak Puke

Melvins - Freak Puke (2012)

Double feature because I've been pretty juiced on Melvins lately, a phenominon that will come to a raging head September 6th when they play with Big Business. Much like said performance, this album is "Melvins Lite" which essentially just means it's King Buzzo, Dale Crover, and Trevor Dunn. No business dudes. No double drum kit.

It took my awhile to formulate just how I felt about this record. There are a couple tracks that I'll come back to, but so me of them are pretty snoozeworthy. Not enough heavy for my rotten desensitized pallete but plenty of badassery to be had in the riff department.

Riff Department.

Run Come Ya!

Barrington Levy - Run Come Ya! (1981)


Anyway, here's some reggae. Sure, this isn't the usual fare around here, but I'm into this record. I actually checked this album out because John Cardiel recommended it. Not directly, of course. I was watching the very cool documentary 'Epicly Later'd' and when asked what his favorite album was, he responded with Barrington Levy's Run Come Ya. I've recently been delving into the world of reggae, dancehall, etc, so I thought I'd give it a chance. It's a pretty nice middle ground between reggae and dub, just enough weirdness, reverb, and bass to make it pleasing. I really can't stand most reggae, but this is pretty decent.

Was that story worth typing? In hind sight, probably not. But you read it, and you should know by now that I don't really use the backspace key around here. You'll never get that time back. I'm not sorry.


Note: This is the 365th post on this stupid blog. I can now make it into a calendar.

THRASH WEEKEND: Satan's Rock N' Roll

Chapel - Satan's Rock N' Roll (2012)

Even though my mortal vessel is festering with disease, cheap beers and Thrash Weekend beckon. Chapel is a very cool blackened speed metal band from Canada. This is their first LP. It is pretty good.


Superfuzz Bigmuff

Mudhoney - Superfuzz Bigmuff (1989)

For those of you that don't know, I live in Seattle, Washington. I always have except for a brief window of time in which I ventured to the Bay Area. I found it pleasant, but yearned for the crushing bleakness of the Pacific Northwest eventually. If you want to see the good part of California, check out the bay. Anyway, I've been getting in touch with my weirdo Northwest roots and listening to all the music that I denied myself when I was 16 and only liked to listen to extremely aurally challenging "music" that made my parents mad. When you reach this point in your personal development, there are two paths you can take. The first, you eventually come around and check out all the cool stuff you hated for no reason. The second, you eventually start collecting harsh noise and power electronics cassette tapes. Don't do that one.

Mudhoney is very cool and heavy. Super heavy rock music is usually fun.



Nirvana - Bleach (1989)

To quote the everdeepening pool of intellect that is

"Metal faggots love bleach."


Cool Mortification

Krabathor - Cool Mortification (1993)

From the very first cavernous tom fill you know you're in for some serious business. To-the-point death metal that isn't going to try to beguile you, they're just going to riff at you for 43.5 minutes. Don't interpret that as boring, however. A sinister atmosphere and just a hint of what almost sounds like crossover thrash make this the stand-out from these Czech dude's fairly solid catalogue. Paul Speckmann would eventually join their ranks, giving them further credibility. Because Paul Speckmann is cool and doesn't fuck with poser shitbands.

Very Cool Mortification

THRASH WEEKEND: Divine Intervention

Slayer - Divine Intervention (1994)

It's the weekend so it's time to chug a fuckload of cheap beer and listen to thrash. Let's all listen to this Slayer album. You know what Slayer sounds like so I'm not going to describe it for you.


Children Of The Grave

Bonus Master Content:

The New Elite

Master - The New Elite (2012)

New death metal from very cool dude and everyone's favorite death metal expat Paul Speckmann. I don't know what the evil version of gold is, but whatever it is, everything Speckmann touches turns into it, this album definitely fucking included. As I was telling a friend of mine earlier today (Yes, I have those. Fuck you.) The New Elite is a certified, notarized, bonafide ripper and if you don't at the very least check it out you're a dummy.


Chest Pain

Chest Pain - Chest Pain 7" (2011)

I saw this band play with Iron Lung a couple weeks back. They were really good. Also they played very cool powerviolence from Austin, Texas. The recorded material doesn't quite live up to the unreasonable sounds they were making live, but it's still fun.

You can get this record absolutely free of charge over at their bandcamp page.

Hear Nothing See Nothing Etc Etc

Discharge - Hear Nothing See Nothing Say Nothing

I've been listening to this album a whole lot, so guess what? I'm gonna type about it on the internet. And you're gonna read about it on the internet. Or maybe a phone. I don't know what the fuck you do.

Discharge is a very cool band that started a new style of music called Discharge-Beat. This particular LP of Discharge-Beat has a truly horrifying guitar sound. A sort of undulating cloud that's accented by distant squeals. Mostly the drums just play a Discharge-Beat.


Mindless Nation

Napalm Raid - Mindless Nation (2012)

Napalm Raid are a crust/d-beat unit operating out of Halifax, Nova Scotia. They play a truly ripping style of vaguely anthemic crust with vocals that sound like they're bellowed straight from the abyss. I haven't checked but I would assume that the lyrics are about the government or napalm or something. The whole thing is barely over 20 minutes long so you might as well check it out. You were just going to do something worthless with those 20 minutes anyway. Don't deny it you stupid supplicant.

You can view their blog/website here.
You can steal their record here.

Napalm Raid

Live From The Underground

Big K.R.I.T. - Live From The Underground (Stream) (2012)

Seeing as how this blog is a total joke now, I figured I would share this because it's good and I want more people to hear it. Krit's newest effort (available June 5th) is now streaming in its entirety on NPR has been so on point with music lately, weird.



Quick Question: Baroness

Quick question, what do you guys think of this song?


Snail - Terminus (2012)

Guess what, you miserable cretins? Snail has a new album and boy howdy what a new one it is. It's good. It's very cool. It's Snail. They are from Seattle. It's called Terminus. It's a melodic, enjoyable doomy metaly album that still wields a mighty riff with authority. While I'll admit the last couple tracks are a kinda snoozers until Terminus takes it up a notch to end it, the album as a whole is a good time.

Next guess: Guess what you have to do to get this album? Go to their bandcamp page and pay them $0.00 like a total piece of shit. Deal with it. Or give them your money.


Horse Latitudes - Awakening (2012)

Damn son, where'd you find this?

Very cool droney doom from Helsinki. Just a note, Mediafire has suspended my account so the vast majority of the old posts will have dead links now. Fuckers.


Heavy Voodoo - Messiah (2012?)

Here is some cool stoner/doom/whathaveyou from Portland, OR. Very cool riffs, album art that reminds me Orange Goblin if they were even more into weed than they already are, which is never a bad thing. You can get their three song EP/demo from their bandcamp page for absolutely free, or you can pay them for it. Choose your own destiny. Normally I would say something about how I don't really like Portland all that much, but I won't because I'm lazy and don't feel like putting together any original thoughts right now.

This blog will probably die soon, though something more interesting and worthwhile will hopefully erupt screaming from its corpse soon enough.

I'm Da Man


Raw Power

The Stooges - RAW POWER (1973)

Everybody always tryna tell me what to do.

Raw Power.

Consider these the death throes.

No Hope In Here

Bastard - No Hope In Here (2002)

Shame on you if you haven't heard the name of the mighty Bastard, crusty punk unit from the land of the rising sun. Listening to this record is fun, especially if you like yelling MISERREERRUUOOOUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!! This is literally every song this group put out, we call it a Discography in the elite music blogging biz.



Cannibal Corpse - T o r t u r e (2012)

I'll fucking, I'll fucking tie you to a fucking bedpost with your ass cheeks spread out and shit, right? Put a hanger on a fucking stove and let that shit sit there for like a half hour. Take it off and stick it in your ass slow like TSSSSSS!!!!! Yeah I'll fucking lay your nuts on a fucking dresser, just your nuts laying on a fucking dresser and bang them shits with a spiked fucking bat! Oh what's up? BLOW!!!!


Strange Songs (In The Dark)

Merchandise - Strange Songs (In The Dark) (2010)

I imagine the cretins that darken the doorways of this blog haven't heard this before. Because I sure hadn't until a friend threw the LP on the other day.

Guys lets take a post punk break.

**BONUS CONTENT: Gone Are The Silk Flowers of Youth (CS) (2010)

Blitzkrieg Symphony #1

West Wall - Blitzkrieg Symphony #1

Mid-paced war themed death metal that will probably appeal to fans of bands like Bolt Thrower, Hail of Bullets, etc. The twist with these guys is they happen to be a bunch of Nazi sympathizers! Boy howdy! They even share members with Bound For Glory, an exceptionally racist band! So if so much as hearing terrible opinions makes your white guilt hurt too much, you should probably avoid this one.

Usually fascists have pretty good taste in album artwork, these guys not so much. Don't let the horrible photoshop hackjob deter you from sweet sweet riffs.


Til Doden Os Skiller

Undergang - Til Doden Os Skiller (2012)

What's up you fucking freaks? Here's some crunchy, crusty, dark death metal from de Danske. I find it amusing when such evil music comes from such a happy little country. Or at least I assume Denmark is happy. Denmark should be happy.

Happy Denmark.


Utilitarian 2012

All Tomorrow's Funerals

Autopsy - All Tomorrow's Funerals (2012)

Compilation with remastered old songs and 4 new songs.
Sounds good.


Sorrow and Extinction

Pallbearer - Sorrow and Extinction (2012)



Vulgaari - Vulgaari (2012)

I don't know anything about this band at all aside from the fact that they are from Minneapolis, Minnesota and play an unreasonably heavy and slightly spaced out brand of music you could make up all sorts of stupid names for. Funeral Sludge? Funeral sludge. Guys lets all listen to some Funeral Sludge. They tagged themselves as "biker metal death metal doom metal metal sludge metal stoner metal Minneapolis" if that helps. You can hear their entire album for FUCKING FREE RIGHT NOW ON THE INTERNET RIGHT HERE HOLY SHIT. You can also download it for free from there, or you can just click the link here.

Link here.

Red Tide Rising

Orange Goblin - Red Tide Rising (2012)

I like this band, and this album isn't bad at all but their butt rock levels are at an all time high which will definitely kill some interest. Unless you like butt rock. Rock on butt rockers.


Integrity 2000

Integrity - Integrity 2000 (1999)

So many people that love Integrity hate this album. Why? WHY? It's so heavy I can only barely handle it. It crushes my brain and makes all my organs explode out of a cavity in my body of their own devising. This record is merely a gauntlet of irresponsibly heavy riffage that you will not survive.


Pallbearer News

Pallbearer Update: Their upcoming album Sorrow and Extinction will be streaming in full on monday via NPR's website. Probably my most anticipated doom release of the year. Sorry if you thought there was going to be a download link here. There isn't.

You can, however, stream a song off the album and read a review of it HERE.

Masters of Misery

Masters of Misery: Black Sabbath Tribute (1997)

Earache Black Sabbath tribute compilation.
Here's the track listing:

Wheels of Confusion - Cathedral
Snowblind - Sleep
Zero the Hero - Godflesh
Hole In The Sky - Confessor
Killing Yourself To Live - A.C.
Changes - Fudge Tunnel
Who Are You? - O.L.D.
Lord Of This World - Brutal Truth
Paranoid - Ultraviolence
N.I.B. - Pitchshifter
The Wizard - Scorn
Cornucopia - Iron Monkey
Solitude - Cathedral

Sleep covering Sabbath.

Consulting The Bones

Witchden - Consulting The Bones (2012)

Any band that labels themselves as doom blues is bound to get my attention for at least a brief moment. A visceral feel and tortured vocals definitely bring Eyehategod to mind, but that's hardly a bad thing. Witchden doesn't make my guts hurt like Eyehategod does, though. Blues heavy riffs that tend to plod along at a hypnotic pace make me feel more inclined to nod along rather than barf on my own shirt or whatever people do at Eyehategod shows. I've been to one, I don't know.


The Plague

Mainbrain - The Plague (2012) (EP)

The only info I can find on this brutal death band is that they're from Málaga, Spain. I'm assuming this is their first release (available for free on their bandcamp page). They've got just enough meathead chug going on to keep me interested. Are are they slamz? Or pit riffments? I honestly don't know the difference.

PiT rIfFmEnT?

The Calling Depths

Lvcifyre - The Calling Depths (2011)

Heavily Immolation influenced death metal from the UK. This is another one of those bands that people refer to as "blackened" when they should really just be saying "scary".


The Spear of Longinus

Infernal Legion - The Spear of Longinus (2012)

'Blackened' death from Hungary with a HUGE guitar sound that makes me wonder why I haven't heard something like this before. Apparently it's only two dudes, too.


Pyramid of The Necropolis

War Master - Pyramid of The Necropolis (2011)

This is one of those posts that sat in draft form for over a month and never got posted because I hate this blog almost as much as you do. It's like a relative that I don't like but feel obligated to visit. Except this shitty blog doesn't send me $20 around the holidays.

War Master is a death metal band from Houston, Texas that plays music reminiscent of Bolt Thrower, which I consider to never be a bad thing (likewise to all Incantation wannabes).

War Master

***NOTE: Because Mediafire purged most of the larger accounts (I have a Motorhead recorded uploaded with over 10,000 downloads yet my account is still active so I have no idea what's going on) links will come from wherever I find them. Sorry for the CONVENIENCE.


Vore - Gravehammer (2011)

Very cool doom laden death that seeks to entertain through brute force rather than finesse. Fine by me.

(Not a mediafire link, sorry.)